From Lee Kuan Yew: "The Man and His Ideas"
"We have got to live with the consequences of our actions and we are responsible for our own people and we take the right decisions for them. You look at the old Philippines. The old Ceylon. The old East Pakistan and several others. I have been to these countries and places. When I went to Colombo for the first time in 1956 it was a better city than Singapore because Singapore had three and a half years of Japanese occupation and Colombo was the centre or HQ of Mountbatten's Southeast Asia command.
And they had sterling reserves. They had two Universities. Before the war, a thick layer of educated talent So if you believe what American liberals or British liberals used to say, then it ought to have flourished. But it didn't.
One-man one-vote led to the domination of the Sinhalese majority over the minority Tamils who were the active and intelligent fellows who worked hard and got themselves penalised. And English was out. They were educated in English. Sinhalese was in. They got quotas in two universities and now they have become fanatical Tigers. And the country will never be put together again.
Somebody should have told them - change the system, loosen up, or break off. And looking back, I think the Tunku was wise. (The reference is to Tunku Abdul Rahman the Malaysian Prime Minister under whose rule Singapore separated from Malaysia). I offered a loosening up of the system. He said: "Clean cut, go your way". Had we stayed in, and I look at Colombo and Ceylon, I mean changing names, sometimes maybe you deceive the gods, but I don't think you are deceiving the people who live in them. It makes no great difference to the tragedy that is being enacted. They failed because they had weak or wrong leaders ".
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
in india
you know you're in India when the moment you land, someone rushes from the back of the plane to the front, already having perfected his strategy of being a first-mover at Customs and secretly disobeying orders to unload luggage from the cabin head. You know you're in India when standing in customs, some old guy trying valiantly to be hip with newly-acquired American accent and a passel of kids and a large fanny pack busts out ice gum and offers it to everyone around him saying: want some ice breakers? You know you're in India when some auntie/long-lost third cousin's great-cousin's grand-aunt says to you warningly about her friend/long lost third-cousin's daughter that she was a very bright girl, went to Stanford pre-med, but then switched majors and now is doing Teach for America and shakes her head and says :"and her parents are very disappointed". You know you're in India when you're sitting in an auto, rushing headlong into oncoming traffic, heart pounding wildly, hair flying out of the 2 by 2 hair cabin, and the auto driver having completed a u-turn worthy of Hamilton spinning on one wheel, then spots a lad pedalling on a bicycle standing up, ahead of him, and the lad's butt swerving with every motion, and in madrasi tamil, the autodriver bawls him out for his butt going this way and that way and tells him to sit down, and the youth, undaunted, tries to make a quickwitted retort, but instead crashes into an oncoming van and falls off his bicycle to much merriment of auto driver and passengers. You know you're in India when you start speaking tamil/hindi/marwadi/hyderabadi urdu to a telephone seller, who upon seeing your crisp blue foreign passport, starts yakking back at you in broken English, deaf to whatever else. You know you're in India when the gelato from a five star cafe is a colonic irrigation substitute, and fresh curd from the rural roadside makes you believe in God again. You know you're in India when ... you wake up, and the air is wet with the smell of monsoon rains, and the leaves greener than anywhere else, and the stench from the roadside households mixes with the diesel of the maruti cars and melds with the jasmine and the mangoes and the sandalwood from a nearby shrine and you know you're home, some way, again.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
a commencement speech
Remarks of Hillary D. Rodham, President of the Wellesley College Government Association and member of the Class of 1969, on the occasion of Wellesley's 91st Commencement, May 31, 1969:
I am very glad that Miss Adams made it clear that what I am speaking for today is all of us -- the 400 of us -- and I find myself in a familiar position, that of reacting, something that our generation has been doing for quite a while now. We're not in the positions yet of leadership and power, but we do have that indispensable task of criticizing and constructive protest and I find myself reacting just briefly to some of the things that Senator Brooke said. This has to be brief because I do have a little speech to give. Part of the problem with empathy with professed goals is that empathy doesn't do us anything. We've had lots of empathy; we've had lots of sympathy, but we feel that for too long our leaders have used politics as the art of making what appears to be impossible, possible. What does it mean to hear that 13.3% of the people in this country are below the poverty line? That's a percentage. We're not interested in social reconstruction; it's human reconstruction. How can we talk about percentages and trends? The complexities are not lost in our analyses, but perhaps they're just put into what we consider a more human and eventually a more progressive perspective. The question about possible and impossible was one that we brought with us to Wellesley four years ago. We arrived not yet knowing what was not possible. Consequently, we expected a lot.
Our attitudes are easily understood having grown up, having come to consciousness in the first five years of this decade -- years dominated by men with dreams, men in the civil rights movement, the Peace Corps, the space program -- so we arrived at Wellesley and we found, as all of us have found, that there was a gap between expectation and realities. But it wasn't a discouraging gap and it didn't turn us into cynical, bitter old women at the age of 18. It just inspired us to do something about that gap. What we did is often difficult for some people to understand. They ask us quite often: "Why, if you're dissatisfied, do you stay in a place?" Well, if you didn't care a lot about it you wouldn't stay. It's almost as though my mother used to say, "I'll always love you but there are times when I certainly won't like you." Our love for this place, this particular place, Wellesley College, coupled with our freedom from the burden of an inauthentic reality allowed us to question basic assumptions underlying our education. Before the days of the media orchestrated demonstrations, we had our own gathering over in Founder's parking lot. We protested against the rigid academic distribution requirement. We worked for a pass-fail system. We worked for a say in some of the process of academic decision making. And luckily we were in a place where, when we questioned the meaning of a liberal arts education there were people with enough imagination to respond to that questioning. So we have made progress. We have achieved some of the things that initially saw as lacking in that gap between expectation and reality. Our concerns were not, of course, solely academic as all of us know. We worried about inside Wellesley questions of admissions, the kind of people that should be coming to Wellesley, the process for getting them here. We questioned about what responsibility we should have both for our lives as individuals and for our lives as members of a collective group.
Coupled with our concerns for the Wellesley inside here in the community were our concerns for what happened beyond Hathaway House. We wanted to know what relationship Wellesley was going to have to the outer world. We were lucky in that one of the first things Miss Adams did was to set up a cross-registration with MIT because everyone knows that education just can't have any parochial bounds any more. One of the other things that we did was the Upward Bound program. There are so many other things that we could talk about; so many attempts, at least the way we saw it, to pull ourselves into the world outside. And I think we've succeeded. There will be an Upward Bound program, just for one example, on the campus this summer.
Many of the issues that I've mentioned -- those of sharing power and responsibility, those of assuming power and responsibility have been general concerns on campuses throughout the world. But underlying those concerns there is a theme, a theme which is so trite and so old because the words are so familiar. It talks about integrity and trust and respect. Words have a funny way of trapping our minds on the way to our tongues but there are necessary means even in this multi-media age for attempting to come to grasps with some of the inarticulate maybe even inarticulable things that we're feeling. We are, all of us, exploring a world that none of us even understands and attempting to create within that uncertainty. But there are some things we feel, feelings that our prevailing, acquisitive, and competitive corporate life, including tragically the universities, is not the way of life for us. We're searching for more immediate, ecstatic and penetrating mode of living. And so our questions, our questions about our institutions, about our colleges, about our churches, about our government continue. The questions about those institutions are familiar to all of us. We have seen heralded across the newspapers. Senator Brooke has suggested some of them this morning. But along with using these words -- integrity, trust, and respect -- in regard to institutions and leaders we're perhaps harshest with them in regard to ourselves.
Every protest, every dissent, whether it's an individual academic paper, Founder's parking lot demonstration, is unabashedly an attempt to forge an identity in this particular age. That attempt at forging for many of us over the past four years has meant coming to terms with our humanness. Within the context of a society that we perceive -- now we can talk about reality, and I would like to talk about reality sometime, authentic reality, inauthentic reality, and what we have to accept of what we see -- but our perception of it is that it hovers often between the possibility of disaster and the potentiality for imaginatively responding to men's needs. There's a very strange conservative strain that goes through a lot of New Left, collegiate protests that I find very intriguing because it harkens back to a lot of the old virtues, to the fulfillment of original ideas. And it's also a very unique American experience. It's such a great adventure. If the experiment in human living doesn't work in this country, in this age, it's not going to work anywhere.
But we also know that to be educated, the goal of it must be human liberation. A liberation enabling each of us to fulfill our capacity so as to be free to create within and around ourselves. To be educated to freedom must be evidenced in action, and here again is where we ask ourselves, as we have asked our parents and our teachers, questions about integrity, trust, and respect. Those three words mean different things to all of us. Some of the things they can mean, for instance: Integrity, the courage to be whole, to try to mold an entire person in this particular context, living in relation to one another in the full poetry of existence. If the only tool we have ultimately to use is our lives, so we use it in the way we can by choosing a way to live that will demonstrate the way we feel and the way we know. Integrity -- a man like Paul Santmire. Trust. This is one word that when I asked the class at our rehearsal what it was they wanted me to say for them, everyone came up to me and said "Talk about trust, talk about the lack of trust both for us and the way we feel about others. Talk about the trust bust." What can you say about it? What can you say about a feeling that permeates a generation and that perhaps is not even understood by those who are distrusted? All they can do is keep trying again and again and again. There's that wonderful line in East Coker by Eliot about there's only the trying, again and again and again; to win again what we've lost before.
And then respect. There's that mutuality of respect between people where you don't see people as percentage points. Where you don't manipulate people. Where you're not interested in social engineering for people. The struggle for an integrated life existing in an atmosphere of communal trust and respect is one with desperately important political and social consequences. And the word "consequences" of course catapults us into the future. One of the most tragic things that happened yesterday, a beautiful day, was that I was talking to woman who said that she wouldn't want to be me for anything in the world. She wouldn't want to live today and look ahead to what it is she sees because she's afraid. Fear is always with us but we just don't have time for it. Not now.
There are two people that I would like to thank before concluding. That's Ellie Acheson, who is the spearhead for this, and also Nancy Scheibner who wrote this poem which is the last thing that I would like to read:
My entrance into the world of so-called "social problems"
Must be with quiet laughter, or not at all.T
he hollow men of anger and bitterness
The bountiful ladies of righteous degradation
All must be left to a bygone age.
And the purpose of history is to provide a receptacle
For all those myths and oddments
Which oddly we have acquired
And from which we would become unburdened
To create a newer world
To transform the future into the present.
We have no need of false revolutions
In a world where categories tend to tyrannize our minds
And hang our wills up on narrow pegs.
It is well at every given moment to seek the limits in our lives.
And once those limits are understood
To understand that limitations no longer exist.
Earth could be fair.
And you and I must be free
Not to save the world in a glorious crusade
Not to kill ourselves with a nameless gnawing pain
But to practice with all the skill of our being
The art of making possible.
I am very glad that Miss Adams made it clear that what I am speaking for today is all of us -- the 400 of us -- and I find myself in a familiar position, that of reacting, something that our generation has been doing for quite a while now. We're not in the positions yet of leadership and power, but we do have that indispensable task of criticizing and constructive protest and I find myself reacting just briefly to some of the things that Senator Brooke said. This has to be brief because I do have a little speech to give. Part of the problem with empathy with professed goals is that empathy doesn't do us anything. We've had lots of empathy; we've had lots of sympathy, but we feel that for too long our leaders have used politics as the art of making what appears to be impossible, possible. What does it mean to hear that 13.3% of the people in this country are below the poverty line? That's a percentage. We're not interested in social reconstruction; it's human reconstruction. How can we talk about percentages and trends? The complexities are not lost in our analyses, but perhaps they're just put into what we consider a more human and eventually a more progressive perspective. The question about possible and impossible was one that we brought with us to Wellesley four years ago. We arrived not yet knowing what was not possible. Consequently, we expected a lot.
Our attitudes are easily understood having grown up, having come to consciousness in the first five years of this decade -- years dominated by men with dreams, men in the civil rights movement, the Peace Corps, the space program -- so we arrived at Wellesley and we found, as all of us have found, that there was a gap between expectation and realities. But it wasn't a discouraging gap and it didn't turn us into cynical, bitter old women at the age of 18. It just inspired us to do something about that gap. What we did is often difficult for some people to understand. They ask us quite often: "Why, if you're dissatisfied, do you stay in a place?" Well, if you didn't care a lot about it you wouldn't stay. It's almost as though my mother used to say, "I'll always love you but there are times when I certainly won't like you." Our love for this place, this particular place, Wellesley College, coupled with our freedom from the burden of an inauthentic reality allowed us to question basic assumptions underlying our education. Before the days of the media orchestrated demonstrations, we had our own gathering over in Founder's parking lot. We protested against the rigid academic distribution requirement. We worked for a pass-fail system. We worked for a say in some of the process of academic decision making. And luckily we were in a place where, when we questioned the meaning of a liberal arts education there were people with enough imagination to respond to that questioning. So we have made progress. We have achieved some of the things that initially saw as lacking in that gap between expectation and reality. Our concerns were not, of course, solely academic as all of us know. We worried about inside Wellesley questions of admissions, the kind of people that should be coming to Wellesley, the process for getting them here. We questioned about what responsibility we should have both for our lives as individuals and for our lives as members of a collective group.
Coupled with our concerns for the Wellesley inside here in the community were our concerns for what happened beyond Hathaway House. We wanted to know what relationship Wellesley was going to have to the outer world. We were lucky in that one of the first things Miss Adams did was to set up a cross-registration with MIT because everyone knows that education just can't have any parochial bounds any more. One of the other things that we did was the Upward Bound program. There are so many other things that we could talk about; so many attempts, at least the way we saw it, to pull ourselves into the world outside. And I think we've succeeded. There will be an Upward Bound program, just for one example, on the campus this summer.
Many of the issues that I've mentioned -- those of sharing power and responsibility, those of assuming power and responsibility have been general concerns on campuses throughout the world. But underlying those concerns there is a theme, a theme which is so trite and so old because the words are so familiar. It talks about integrity and trust and respect. Words have a funny way of trapping our minds on the way to our tongues but there are necessary means even in this multi-media age for attempting to come to grasps with some of the inarticulate maybe even inarticulable things that we're feeling. We are, all of us, exploring a world that none of us even understands and attempting to create within that uncertainty. But there are some things we feel, feelings that our prevailing, acquisitive, and competitive corporate life, including tragically the universities, is not the way of life for us. We're searching for more immediate, ecstatic and penetrating mode of living. And so our questions, our questions about our institutions, about our colleges, about our churches, about our government continue. The questions about those institutions are familiar to all of us. We have seen heralded across the newspapers. Senator Brooke has suggested some of them this morning. But along with using these words -- integrity, trust, and respect -- in regard to institutions and leaders we're perhaps harshest with them in regard to ourselves.
Every protest, every dissent, whether it's an individual academic paper, Founder's parking lot demonstration, is unabashedly an attempt to forge an identity in this particular age. That attempt at forging for many of us over the past four years has meant coming to terms with our humanness. Within the context of a society that we perceive -- now we can talk about reality, and I would like to talk about reality sometime, authentic reality, inauthentic reality, and what we have to accept of what we see -- but our perception of it is that it hovers often between the possibility of disaster and the potentiality for imaginatively responding to men's needs. There's a very strange conservative strain that goes through a lot of New Left, collegiate protests that I find very intriguing because it harkens back to a lot of the old virtues, to the fulfillment of original ideas. And it's also a very unique American experience. It's such a great adventure. If the experiment in human living doesn't work in this country, in this age, it's not going to work anywhere.
But we also know that to be educated, the goal of it must be human liberation. A liberation enabling each of us to fulfill our capacity so as to be free to create within and around ourselves. To be educated to freedom must be evidenced in action, and here again is where we ask ourselves, as we have asked our parents and our teachers, questions about integrity, trust, and respect. Those three words mean different things to all of us. Some of the things they can mean, for instance: Integrity, the courage to be whole, to try to mold an entire person in this particular context, living in relation to one another in the full poetry of existence. If the only tool we have ultimately to use is our lives, so we use it in the way we can by choosing a way to live that will demonstrate the way we feel and the way we know. Integrity -- a man like Paul Santmire. Trust. This is one word that when I asked the class at our rehearsal what it was they wanted me to say for them, everyone came up to me and said "Talk about trust, talk about the lack of trust both for us and the way we feel about others. Talk about the trust bust." What can you say about it? What can you say about a feeling that permeates a generation and that perhaps is not even understood by those who are distrusted? All they can do is keep trying again and again and again. There's that wonderful line in East Coker by Eliot about there's only the trying, again and again and again; to win again what we've lost before.
And then respect. There's that mutuality of respect between people where you don't see people as percentage points. Where you don't manipulate people. Where you're not interested in social engineering for people. The struggle for an integrated life existing in an atmosphere of communal trust and respect is one with desperately important political and social consequences. And the word "consequences" of course catapults us into the future. One of the most tragic things that happened yesterday, a beautiful day, was that I was talking to woman who said that she wouldn't want to be me for anything in the world. She wouldn't want to live today and look ahead to what it is she sees because she's afraid. Fear is always with us but we just don't have time for it. Not now.
There are two people that I would like to thank before concluding. That's Ellie Acheson, who is the spearhead for this, and also Nancy Scheibner who wrote this poem which is the last thing that I would like to read:
My entrance into the world of so-called "social problems"
Must be with quiet laughter, or not at all.T
he hollow men of anger and bitterness
The bountiful ladies of righteous degradation
All must be left to a bygone age.
And the purpose of history is to provide a receptacle
For all those myths and oddments
Which oddly we have acquired
And from which we would become unburdened
To create a newer world
To transform the future into the present.
We have no need of false revolutions
In a world where categories tend to tyrannize our minds
And hang our wills up on narrow pegs.
It is well at every given moment to seek the limits in our lives.
And once those limits are understood
To understand that limitations no longer exist.
Earth could be fair.
And you and I must be free
Not to save the world in a glorious crusade
Not to kill ourselves with a nameless gnawing pain
But to practice with all the skill of our being
The art of making possible.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
madras
So. Having lived in Sri Lanka for a mammoth year and a half, one would assume that living in its subcontinental neighbour for just three months, especially where one spoke the language unlike in Sri Lanka, would be a relative walk in the park. Or if not exactly a breezy jaunt, then at least not angst-inducing. But a year in the developed world with every luxury and convenience to hand has simply marinaded me in my usual comfort expectations such that even taking a normal auto ride in the heat of noon amidst traffic and pollution of the Indian variety leaves me dazed and confused and utterly bereft of the will to live. Add to that spending one days in a sub-arctic airconditioned office researching, sleeping on a bed with a mattress of crushed stone, violently swatting at mosquitoes mid-dream, and worst of all, eating South Indian food (once is a novelty, twice is nice, more than that, Sri Lankan food it just ain't) ALL THE TIME has made me depressed. So, regardless of the cost, I am off. To Barista for a fake-latte but right now, even the semblance of espresso will have me up, and then back to work no doubt. (And of course it isn't as bad as all that, there're a great bunch of people here and lots of laughing at how insane India is, and everyone meddling in everyone else's business here and general Indian life, which is just on crack). Just a little dejected right now that's all, and looking forward to a long, hot, dry (of that OTHER variety too) summer.
Monday, May 28, 2007
temperatures.
Someone please explain to me how it is possible that it is the beginning of June nearly, it is 35 degrees celsius in Boston and when I land in London, it is SEVEN DEGREES CELSIUS? It boggles the mind. I had to immediately purchase on the cheap, a white fishermans' cable knit sweater. While it does nothing to hold up the fashion front, I am warm. The BBC has quite a funny series of pictures on the weather: check it here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/6698607.stm
tomorrow
So another adventure partly ends and a new one begins. Packing up my room, putting things away in boxes (I started my packing a day early unlike usual seven hours of packing through the night-J would be so proud of me!), thinking, how did another year of my life pass by with me barely noticing. Its already summer and somehow we went from autumn to deepest winter to the beginning of spring and now high summer and its 35 degrees and Boston is unrecognizable from the days when we trudged to school knee-deep in snow. And yesterday was perfect as I took a nap in between packing. The windows to my room were open, and the sunlight streamed in and it was a perfect 25 deg and the wind carried the scent of newly blooming lilac and for once I wasn't rushed as I have been all year and all I had to do was to live through the moment and it was beautiful.
And now I am listening to the soundtrack for the summer of 2000 which was the first time I came to Boston and spent my summer here and how much has changed in seven years. And in some ways the things I thought would be different are not and the things I thought would be the same are. Here's to not spending six years of your life fixated on the wrong things, to taking life as it is and not more than that, to adventure at every new corner, to the wind in my hair and a spring in my step. Here's to tomorrow, whatever it may bring.
And now I am listening to the soundtrack for the summer of 2000 which was the first time I came to Boston and spent my summer here and how much has changed in seven years. And in some ways the things I thought would be different are not and the things I thought would be the same are. Here's to not spending six years of your life fixated on the wrong things, to taking life as it is and not more than that, to adventure at every new corner, to the wind in my hair and a spring in my step. Here's to tomorrow, whatever it may bring.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
the shadow lines
I am reading again. Two and a half books in two days surely qualifies as a literary resurgence. Divisadero as I have mentioned. Can Anna ever go back again? Are we ever able to sew scars together again? But also The Shadow Lines by Amitav Ghosh about four individuals torn apart by the Calcutta riots. I was told by someone that this was better than the English Patient. Shocked at such heresy I immediately bought and read this. Reader, it is not. Heretic to be included even in the same sentence. Ghosh's writing is ill-ordered, characters caricatured with no heroic appeal, and no weight of tragedy to carry the writing, to imbue meaning through the slightest of gestures. Though he does wield some talent, it is not nearly as much as it is hyped out to be. But perhaps I am simply not the right person to write a comparison piece on the two. One idea he mentioned was quite stunning in its simplicity, that love was directly opposed to the idea of justice, that he had thrown everything he had into the scales and it had not moved by a tremor. As it is quoted in Divisadero, whether we are the heroes of our own lives or someone else is, these pages will show.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
read
"Anywhere else, those events would only have occupied two square inches of a Brueghel, but they brought fire to my life"- Divisadero
I've read it now. And now the re-reading begins, to find out the many truths that are too buried for us adults. But it was anguishing and I tried not to linger to let it parallel but it did. The racing can only hide so much, and it should pause so that other things, ordering and stabilizing can be layered over it, but perhaps it is not to be.
And a dear friend sent ultrasounds of the baby growing in her womb, and it is a miracle of human life, that despite everything, as Coetzee says, the urge for life to perpetuate and constantly renew itself will overpower all evil.
I've read it now. And now the re-reading begins, to find out the many truths that are too buried for us adults. But it was anguishing and I tried not to linger to let it parallel but it did. The racing can only hide so much, and it should pause so that other things, ordering and stabilizing can be layered over it, but perhaps it is not to be.
And a dear friend sent ultrasounds of the baby growing in her womb, and it is a miracle of human life, that despite everything, as Coetzee says, the urge for life to perpetuate and constantly renew itself will overpower all evil.
Friday, May 11, 2007
madam, i'm adam
it's certainly scary how I can veer from exhilarated to maudlin in a couple of days. Nothing to quite explain the shift. A long lunch with a professor debating the derisive SLFP proposals before Sri Lanka today and how the situation is absolutely critical. It hasn't been as bad as this in 25 years. We will look back in history and realize that this is the turning point, when something could have been averted, as Burke said, all that is required for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. And what do you do when someone tells you they are dying, to be gone within the year and there is nothing left to say. That has been the hallmark of today, I simply have nothing left to say. And no one to say it to.
person to watch: Priyanka Gandhi. Will she turn out like her grandmother, the personification of evil, or someone else entirely, more compassionate, less paranoid about holding onto power,
person to watch: Priyanka Gandhi. Will she turn out like her grandmother, the personification of evil, or someone else entirely, more compassionate, less paranoid about holding onto power,
Thursday, May 10, 2007
one of the greats
I'm back again to the state where life is beautiful. Meeting cartoonists on random street corners, a friend becoming a future congressman in Nebraska while being a Sri Lankan activist, another person working on the Richardson campaign as a matter of honour, out of her apartment with no money. Trekking to Colombia to work with a Nobel peace prize nominated activist is another friend, while another works with UNICEF in Bihar. Met an urban planner/architect from Sri Lanka who is going to help us map out our settlement. Meeting a renowned anthropological professor tomorrow who is a dear mentor, and who wrote Buddhism Betrayed. Always carving out a path in the midst of a madness, trying to find love in the obscurest of places and being unexpectedly surprised by the promises that one finds instead. Always drifting, always at a point of "divisar" by which we look back from the distance of time. Finding another who understands Brueghel, again. We find what we search for, when we do not look for it. Years later. Being with a brilliant economist, understanding behaviour. Always pushing the limits of my own understanding. Oh, that this could last forever. And listening to potent music, (the cheap, as Noel Coward said), and watching lots of television, browning under the sun and the promise of midsummer with days of nothing ahead (except exams which we've written off). The taper and counterpoint to a year that has gone by as fast as it has been unexpected. One of the greats as each year has been since I set myself firmly, fearfully, on this path.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
beat up
Currently beat up, chewed up and spat out
Listening to on repeat
a. Road Trippin' by Red Hot Chili Peppers
b. The Story by Brandi Carlisle
c. Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley
d. New Day by Kate Havnevik of Melankton
e. Bach-Air on a G String by Royal Philharmonic
Listening to on repeat
a. Road Trippin' by Red Hot Chili Peppers
b. The Story by Brandi Carlisle
c. Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley
d. New Day by Kate Havnevik of Melankton
e. Bach-Air on a G String by Royal Philharmonic
Sunday, April 29, 2007
cricket.
watching the cricket finals with a bunch of sri lankans, is the only way it is meant to be watched. Riotous swearing and superstitious behaviour (we all stood on one leg in honour of Nelson's superstition at 111-1) and a lot of hair-rending and a lot of particularly Sri Lankan jokes, including one about the President who had flown in for the match.
It was a heroic effort and they played the game well. They lost to the juggernaut that was Australia, who've transformed the way the game is played, and for whom this is their third World Cup title, amidst much ill-planning, confusion and bad luck for the Sri Lankan side (read two rainouts- 38 overs reduced to 36 under the Duckworth-Lewis scoring, and playing in pitch-darkness in Barbados in a stadium without lighting) but they did their side proud and one can ask for no more.
And in a typically Sri Lankan twist, around about midway through the game, all our phones started going off and it was friends and relatives, letting us know that there was an air raid over Colombo and more bombs in the capital. Of course in typical Sri Lankan fashion it went like this: machang there was a bomb just now and we heard the blast. The power is out! What is the score?"
It was a heroic effort and they played the game well. They lost to the juggernaut that was Australia, who've transformed the way the game is played, and for whom this is their third World Cup title, amidst much ill-planning, confusion and bad luck for the Sri Lankan side (read two rainouts- 38 overs reduced to 36 under the Duckworth-Lewis scoring, and playing in pitch-darkness in Barbados in a stadium without lighting) but they did their side proud and one can ask for no more.
And in a typically Sri Lankan twist, around about midway through the game, all our phones started going off and it was friends and relatives, letting us know that there was an air raid over Colombo and more bombs in the capital. Of course in typical Sri Lankan fashion it went like this: machang there was a bomb just now and we heard the blast. The power is out! What is the score?"
Thursday, April 26, 2007
copyrighted for posterity if nothing else
"As a child she had keenly examined movement and life, expended by ants, bats, dragonflies, plants and trees. She had inherited the English love of the earth. The soil and its teeming life was a source of constant wonder to her and she had spent hours sitting silently in the April dampened earth, still as a lake. The frozen insects, earwigs startled, had dismissed her interruption and continued busily around her, climbing on the roots and branches of her calves and thighs. Armies building castles and establishments, enthroning and dethroning, followed by funereal processions of ants, black and red against the sludge green of the earth. Fortresses on promontories painstakingly constructed, futile efforts only to be ravaged by the helicopter drone of a bee, and blitzes by kamikaze dragonflies. Tiger moths, emblazoned with stripes of gold and camouflaged brown, hurling themselves with concentrated fury against the slender flickering candle flame of her night light. Those had been the first victims of her magnesium arrests. Her nose to the ground, eye to eye with snails. She imagined she could see their expressions, caught in the headlights. Herself as a goddess, haughty, only watching until the whim of destruction led her to exhale and blow. "
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
divisa?
I decided not to do an MBA which caused great waves of distress in my family, though i think my father is finally resigned to the fact that neither am I going to do an MBA or get married in the near future, thus bringing censure down on his head from the worldwide community of exiled sri lankan tamils who're busy financing terrorism or sympathising with it. I'm confused about freedom fighters/terrorists/goverment-sponsored violence. Should I rule the country, I would put the men to graze and hunt and let the women rule. Except Condoleeza Rice, who would lead the pack of men-sheep. The sun has finally come out and I browned further more while everyone else turned red. I also ordered Michael Ondaatje's book from Canada, since it only comes out in the rest of the world a whole month and a half later and I couldn't wait. After DHLing it from Canada to the East Coast however, I couldn't bring myself to read it because it would take another seven years before he published another book and it couldn't be over too soon. Am in class right now, trying to take down the pharmaceutical industry in America. All rich-country problems, who will save my beloved country?
Thursday, April 19, 2007
divisadero
ooooh I feel sick, nauseous almost, but deeply excited and thrilled. I just ordered Divisadero, the new novel by Michael Ondaatje, which comes out in Canada tomorrow (yes I had to courier it from Canada because it only arrives in the States next month and I simply cannot wait that long). I feel ill at the thought of reading a NEW oeuvre by him, instead of the same four books that I have reread for the past ten years. His last book was written in 2001 and he averages six years for a book,so its going to be a long time before another one is here and ooh. I'd better make the most of this one as I can. There goes my life.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
vonnegut 1922-2007
On pages 9 and 10 of his book Bagombo Snuff Box: Uncollected Short Fiction, Vonnegut listed eight rules for writing a short story:
Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.
2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.
3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.
4. Every sentence must do one of two things — reveal character or advance the action.
5. Start as close to the end as possible.
6. Be a sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them — in order that the reader may see what they are made of.
7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.
8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.
And an excerpt. I remember reading Slaughterhouse 5 for the A levels, along with Catch 22 and Dispatches. I didn't know what war looked like then, or death, or the sheer arbitrariness of it all. I only thought I knew what love was and it turned out I didn't know that either.
"Finnerty shook his head. ''He'd pull me back into the center, and I want to stay as close on the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.'' He nodded, ''Big, undreamed-of things -- the people on the edge see them first.''
Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.
2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.
3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.
4. Every sentence must do one of two things — reveal character or advance the action.
5. Start as close to the end as possible.
6. Be a sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them — in order that the reader may see what they are made of.
7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.
8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.
And an excerpt. I remember reading Slaughterhouse 5 for the A levels, along with Catch 22 and Dispatches. I didn't know what war looked like then, or death, or the sheer arbitrariness of it all. I only thought I knew what love was and it turned out I didn't know that either.
"Finnerty shook his head. ''He'd pull me back into the center, and I want to stay as close on the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.'' He nodded, ''Big, undreamed-of things -- the people on the edge see them first.''
studio 60
More tragedy and in Virginia too, genteel south.
Did I tell you I met Nandita Das? She’s someone I’ve always dreamt of directing, and she’s only acted in independent Indian films, controversial ones too. Her performance in Earth, along with Aamir Khan was so haunting, the subverting of love into rage and hopelessness. Anyway she was at school the other day and I met her consecutively and I talked to her briefly, awestruck.
Meeting with a potential investor. Still unable to come to a decision on the other school, though admit weekend is this weekend and perhaps it’ll be easier to make a decision. As for other things, they continue. Right now, I’m on a massive binge of Studio 60, the new Aaron Sorkin (creator of West Wing) television series starring the ex-Josh Lyman and Matthew Perry and here is a lovely line, from this valentine to television.
Bradley Whitford (as Danny Tripp) : “I've been married twice before and I'm a recovering cocaine addict. And I know that's no woman's dream of a man, or of a father. Nonetheless, I believe I'm falling in love with you. If you want to run, I understand. But you better get a good head start, because I'm coming for you, Jordan."
Did I tell you I met Nandita Das? She’s someone I’ve always dreamt of directing, and she’s only acted in independent Indian films, controversial ones too. Her performance in Earth, along with Aamir Khan was so haunting, the subverting of love into rage and hopelessness. Anyway she was at school the other day and I met her consecutively and I talked to her briefly, awestruck.
Meeting with a potential investor. Still unable to come to a decision on the other school, though admit weekend is this weekend and perhaps it’ll be easier to make a decision. As for other things, they continue. Right now, I’m on a massive binge of Studio 60, the new Aaron Sorkin (creator of West Wing) television series starring the ex-Josh Lyman and Matthew Perry and here is a lovely line, from this valentine to television.
Bradley Whitford (as Danny Tripp) : “I've been married twice before and I'm a recovering cocaine addict. And I know that's no woman's dream of a man, or of a father. Nonetheless, I believe I'm falling in love with you. If you want to run, I understand. But you better get a good head start, because I'm coming for you, Jordan."
the world we live in
This world we live in. What are we doing here?
Above is a picture snatched from the BBC, one of my favourite sites of all time. A girl hands a female soldier some flowers and is embarassed. As usual it reminds me, the people who say we must go to war are rarely the ones who die.
Monday, April 09, 2007
back and blue
so. We made it into the semifis of the competition and it seems as though things are going well on the nonprofit creation front, as well as can be expected.
Back from a lovely time in Oxford and London, too well in fact for coming back is being extremely difficult. A day in bed solved those problems though. Yesterday after a crazy week (where I attended one class and had like nine hours total of sleep or something ridiculous) I got up at 8am, downloaded Ugly Betty and stayed in bed until 5pm until I finally roused myself to go to the gym and I came back, cooked honey and ginger chicken with tortillas and went back to bed at 9pm. It felt as though my body welcomed it, the intermittent napping associated with a day in bed and today I feel like a million dollars. Two !!
Still deciding on life trajectories. Gosh, if only things at the end could make themselves clear. I don't enjoy orientation activities, it must be said. Sigh.
Spent part of the week translating a documentary from Tamil into English. It was very emotional what my friend/kid had gone into the wilds of Vaharai Sri Lanka to film and then to come back with these tales of heartbreak and loss.
Anyway here's a lovely quote : "Beware the last temptation, To do the right thing for the wrong reasons".
Back from a lovely time in Oxford and London, too well in fact for coming back is being extremely difficult. A day in bed solved those problems though. Yesterday after a crazy week (where I attended one class and had like nine hours total of sleep or something ridiculous) I got up at 8am, downloaded Ugly Betty and stayed in bed until 5pm until I finally roused myself to go to the gym and I came back, cooked honey and ginger chicken with tortillas and went back to bed at 9pm. It felt as though my body welcomed it, the intermittent napping associated with a day in bed and today I feel like a million dollars. Two !!
Still deciding on life trajectories. Gosh, if only things at the end could make themselves clear. I don't enjoy orientation activities, it must be said. Sigh.
Spent part of the week translating a documentary from Tamil into English. It was very emotional what my friend/kid had gone into the wilds of Vaharai Sri Lanka to film and then to come back with these tales of heartbreak and loss.
Anyway here's a lovely quote : "Beware the last temptation, To do the right thing for the wrong reasons".
Monday, April 02, 2007
and maybe
more advice from Cary Tennis, Salon's resident advice columnist
"So go for it. Please go for it. Go for it because elite academia needs people who've dodged a flying plate or two. Go for it for all the world's dreamers who question whether their dreams are worth it. Go for it for all the world's minority parties and outsider voices and small strange people with big dreams and curiously insistent inclinations and seemingly trivial preferences and nearly unheard voices telling them that it just might work, it just might be the thing, it just might make a difference. Go for it for all the people wondering if their little notions even matter. Go for it because it's not just about you, it's about setting an example for your kids and your family and your neighbors and friends. Go for it because somebody once told you not to. Go for it because someone told you that you weren't worth it. Go for it so you'll have a story to tell about courage and trusting your instincts.
Go for it for everyone who grew up in abusive households. Do it for everyone carrying self-doubt around like a bag of stones.
Go for it because you don't want to end up wondering 20 years later why you didn't.
Go for it to strike a blow against the tyranny of reasonable ideas.
Go for it because it's spring and spring is extravagant and fearless.
Go for it. "
"So go for it. Please go for it. Go for it because elite academia needs people who've dodged a flying plate or two. Go for it for all the world's dreamers who question whether their dreams are worth it. Go for it for all the world's minority parties and outsider voices and small strange people with big dreams and curiously insistent inclinations and seemingly trivial preferences and nearly unheard voices telling them that it just might work, it just might be the thing, it just might make a difference. Go for it for all the people wondering if their little notions even matter. Go for it because it's not just about you, it's about setting an example for your kids and your family and your neighbors and friends. Go for it because somebody once told you not to. Go for it because someone told you that you weren't worth it. Go for it so you'll have a story to tell about courage and trusting your instincts.
Go for it for everyone who grew up in abusive households. Do it for everyone carrying self-doubt around like a bag of stones.
Go for it because you don't want to end up wondering 20 years later why you didn't.
Go for it to strike a blow against the tyranny of reasonable ideas.
Go for it because it's spring and spring is extravagant and fearless.
Go for it. "
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