weekend blues

It's been a long, dreary, desperate weekend where I consumed singlehandedly a bottle (yes, that's right) of arrack and at least two packs of cigarettes. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I'm still recovering from the arrack. My body can't take such local abuse. We seem to be inching back to the limbo of no-war, no-peace. Work is really fucked up at the moment, all I seem to be doing is frantically fire-fighting and putting up with silly requests. I have all this pent up rage that is still waiting to be expressed. I want to hurl things at someone's head. Anger and hate destroy the person who is holding it instead of the object of hate. I know that and I still can't let go. I just want to disappear somewhere. For a long while.